Ch-ch-change stinks (don’t wanna be a richer man)

Enough is enough. Its time to get rid of coined money in this country once and for all.

A few days ago I went to lunch with a small group, and I paid for everyone with my credit card. After lunch, I went ahead and divided the total cost by the number of people to collect their share of the bill. I came out with a decimal point, meaning that I would need to collect change. I decided to round the number down and keep things simple.

I was faced with a little adversity when I requested payment from my fellow lunchers. Apparently, my attempt to keep things simple came off as some form of charity. No one likes to be in debt, so I was advised to split the cost with change next time.

In lieu of the small fortune scattered around my house in small coins, I need to ask “Why?” For the gramatically challanged readers, “What for?” I hate getting change back for anything. One of the greatest joys in life is when a purchase comes out to an even number, and I can receive paper money for paper money. I hate to hear, “Thank you sir, your change is seven dollars and seventeen cents.” Its the same thing as, “Your change is seven dollars, and here is a broken VCR that you need to haul around.”

And don’t give me any of that Coinstar nonsense. Just…don’t. Its nothing but a silly solution to a silly problem.

Solutions should be simple. My solution is to always round the final cost of a transaction up or down to the nearest dollar. The law of averages should work out and everyone should have the same net loss or gain at the end of the day. This isn’t the same as always rounding the price up, and its the cost of the final transaction, so these little adjustments don’t accumulate.

With this practice, coined money in America will slowly become obsolete. Then we can all sleep easy knowing that half of the world is in political turmoil, children are starving to death, and the ice caps are melting at an alarming rate, but we won’t need to worry about change falling out of our big-pocket pants any longer.

Comments

  1. nehal wrote:

    I like quarters. Dimes are ok too. I hate nickels and pennies. They should be fed to angry dogs.

  2. ila wrote:

    The carrying the vcr around some supressed memory of your childhood? The only reason I ask is that you used to put pennies in the vcr and you broke it once.

    ila hehe

  3. ila wrote:

    Oh there is something else. The change that was collected from recent purchases sit in a jar. I took this jar to Commerce Bank. They ask you to guess prior to counting so I guessed abotu 6 dollars. It turned out to be 25 dollars. So, I know that it seems that change is annoying but if wrangled you could be looking at a nice bit of pocket money.

    Oh, there is a card that if you pay for it they round up and put the change in a savings account. Imagine what you would end up with!

    I hate change too.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*

*