Artificial Cheese

Working from home give you the opportunity to really keep in touch with the best things about daytime television, the lives of the days of our lives, the children of all my children, the local technical institute commercials, and best of all, The Price is Right.

I grew up with The Price is Right. I thought Rod Roddy was my father for the first 12 years of my life. It is as much a part of me as …I don’t know… Knight Rider and Tom and Jerry. My point is that I can’t get enough of this show.

Due to Bob Barker’s recent cut-and-run tactics, the show’s future is in jeopardy. Bob Barker’s recent endorsement of Rosie O’Donnell as his replacement has convinced me that he has lost his mind and is not fit to host the show anymore. The thought of Rosie O’Donnell trashing up my childhood tele-home makes me scream uncontrollably and threaten my own life. I feel that it is my responsbility to at least suggest a replacement.

The other names that have been thrown around have been Ed McMahon, George Hamilton, Ryan Seacrest (I’m assuming)…not much to choose from. The problem here is that we’re aiming too high. People who are established as actors or hosts of other shows are obligated to bring their own “flavor” to The Price is Right. In Rosie’s case, that flavor is honey barbeque.

I’m officially nominating Matt Gallant as the next host of The Price is Right.

If you don’t know who I’m talking about then you must have been under an enormously gigantic rock for the past five years, along with everyone else in the world. When I started watching this guy on The Planet’s Funniest Animals, I was convinced that he was a robot, and his torso was mounted to his floor-soldered legs before every show. He was robotic, every motion was symmetrical and he never ever moved his facial muscles. But over the years he has evolved, or been upgraded, to a pretty even-keel, unintimidating, host.

I think he’d be a good host because he is very appealing to kids, which means he’s very appealing to seniors. He has tremendous work ethic, loves animals, and is young enough to last on that show for years.

That’s all…and remember, have your Rosie O’Donnell spade or neutered. Goodbye everyone.