Artificial Cheese

People come to me sometimes and talk about how technology has grown rapidly in the last couple of decades. They mention things like the Internet, microprocessing, cell phones, etc. I always take up my offensive posture and start arguing that point. I mention movies made only two decades ago that show rusty mechanial wastelands and robot wars. The setting for these movies is usually 2001 or something. Even the Space Odyssey movies were based at the turn of the century, and those predictions were way ahead of our current space program. The human race failed to meet the expectations of those who made predictions before the technology curve ever started.

Where are our floating cars? Where are our holographic voice mails? Why am I writing this blog entry and not a slavebot she-droid who has been programmed to laugh at my jokes? Well, the answers to some of these questions is, ‘right around the corner’. The answer to the other one is, ’cause she’s making me a sandwich’. Take a look at some of these wickedly recent and radically awesome advancements in technology, and by technology I do not mean computers.

1. Reversal of the Casimir Effect - If you’re not familiar with the Casimir effect then let me put your sorry ass in the know. When two very small, very parallel things are close together, the Casimir effect pulls them towards each other. It happens cause of quantum vacuum fluctuations of the electromagnetic field. I won’t attempt to impress you with my copy and paste skills anymore, but I’m sure that you are wondering why the reversal of this force is a big deal.

   According to people who are smarter than myself, the only current application would be nanotechnology. In particular, nanomachinery that would have something to gain from reducing the friction in their movements. But there is some buzz that this advancement could serve as a catalyst for efforts to levitate larger objects. So there’s your floating cars.

2. 3d Image Projector - If floating cars isn’t your thing, maybe this will impress you. Crazy samurai Japanese scientists have discovered a way to use the power of lasers to construct simple three-dimensional images in mid air. While the prospect of crazy laser samurai is futuristic in an anime world, the practical future could see this technology refined and used to create advertisements, and eventually holographic voice mail messages.

3. Cloak of Invisibility +3 - Greasy Dungeons and Dragons fans will finally have their ‘hide in the shower’ dream come true when they get their hands on a Cloak of Invisibility. While not particularly a new concept, there have been lots of recent advancements in theories behind cloaking and bending light to achieve invisibility. The most popular theories involve bending light around an object through a buffered space through to the other side. Bending it once is easy enough, but bending it back again through mid air sounds cancerous. I’m sure that ’scientists’ will find a way eventually.

4. Sunglasses that Change Color - Well…Are ya laughin’, biatch? At this point, the same people who want a Cloak of Invisibility are probably putting this on their Christmas wish list for next year. These glasses come equipped with a super slick knob that allows the ‘user’ to pick the color of the lenses of their glasses. At face value, this doesn’t have much future cred, but this sort of chemical behavior can be applied to signs on buildings, or pairs of shoes. Imagine buying a new shirt at the store and changing the color of your jeans to match right then and there.

It’ll be another decade or two before we start seeing 3d holographic projections of color-shifting invisible floating cars, but we’re well on our way. But scientists can’t do it alone, remember to write your local congressman about crazy futuristic ideas and ask for grants.